The Second Time Around: Getting Married Again

o-MIDDLE-AGE-WEDDING-facebook-1So, you’ve decided for the second time now to take the plunge, and this time, it’s right! But, since you’re a little older and wiser and you’ve kinda “been there, done that”, you want to make sure you’re having an “age-appropriate” celebration.

But what exactly does that mean? It’s not like you’re ready for a cane and a hearing aid, but you also feel slightly ridiculous at the notion of perhaps performing some of the funner, yet albeit, somewhat more juvenile aspects and traditions of weddings.

Here we answer some of the most sought out questions most people have when tying the knot for a second time. These are just guidelines, and remember, no matter what age, the beauty of having a wedding is that you can do whatever you want, because it’s your day (don’t I always tell you that! )


What type of second wedding is appropriate?

Any type of wedding you deem appropriate is the one you should have regardless of your age. It’s your choice: a small ceremony and quiet dinner or the large dream wedding you never had and always wanted! Include any customs you feel comfortable with (engagement parties, wedding party, bouquet toss, etc.) If you have adult children, let them escort you down the aisle or serve as ushers or attendants in the wedding party.

Can I wear white a second time around?

Of course you can! But avoid cathedral length trains and veils, or a big puffy Cinderella-type ball gown which signifies a larger than life presence associated with younger, first-time brides.

Who should finance the wedding?

Most couples of all ages pay for their own weddings nowadays, so this is even more true of older couples. If relatives offer to help pay for your special day it is certainly OK to let them gift you the money, as long as you’re both OK with it.

How should the invitation be worded?

For under 50 guests, consider phone calls or personal notes. If you opt for printed invitations, and you two are the hosts, word them as follows: “The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jane Doe to John Doe“.

Can I have a wedding shower and register for gifts?

Friends and family will most likely want to mark the occasion with parties and gifts. Suggest an informal coed wedding shower, brunch, lunch, etc. Register for new items and replace older ones you’ve had for years now, or just add to it what you don’t already have.

Should I invite former in-laws or my ex-spouse to the wedding? 

If you’re still friendly with an ex’s family and your fiance does’t mind, certainly invite them! However, no matter how good the current relationship, an ex is rarely invited.

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