Arguing with your soon-to-be spouse on your wedding day is probably the last thing you would ever anticipate or expect to happen. But it can happen, very easily I may add, and it has happened to some unfortunate couples. So, since no one else is talking about it, I decided to bring it up and teach you in the process, how to avoid it from happening in the first place.
Between all the stress built and stored from planning the wedding, up to the actual wedding day, things can naturally get frenetic. I’ve seen brides snap at grooms because they overheard an inappropriate remark, seen attitudes copped if the groom does something “in jest” that bride has previously instructed him not to do (like cake-smashing, to be discussed and advised on later).
So the good news is, it actually doesn’t happen that often (phew!) But, with one wrong comment or look, things can get set off quick, fast and in a hurry! Remember, this is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your lives together, so there’s no room for quarreling, especially when, if left unchecked, has the capacity to ruin the entire day.
Here’s some sage advice I want you to follow so as not to get caught in the snare of this trap. That way you can fully enjoy your day and have only fond memories, not foul ones.
OK, so listen closely, this is important…
Make sure you see each other the night before the wedding and that you leave on good terms
On the night before your wedding, you’ll most likely see each other if you’re hosting a rehearsal dinner. And if you’re following tradition, you’ll probably not see each other again until the next day at the wedding ceremony. Make sure when you depart that night that you leave on good terms– no fighting over anything that happened at the rehearsal dinner, or drudging up something from two weeks ago you haven’t quite let go of– no fussing, no feuding, no drama– period! Leave all that nonsense in the past where it belongs and move towards having the best day of your lives!
Stick together and hold hands- Do not neglect each other during your wedding Just like they told you in kindergarten, same rule applies here! I’ve seen guests (unintentionally) pull couples apart vying for their attention resulting in one of the two either being alone or eating alone. You don’t want to do that! Being pulled in opposite directions by so many people jockeying for both your individual and joint attention can put a strain on the day. When you find yourselves separated, make a conscious effort to re-connect. Do not let guests monopolize your time because they will. They don’t mean to, they’re just all caught up in the festivities and are excited for you. But this can make couples feel isolated and not together on their special day as they should be. So remember, be attached at the hip at all times!
What comes to mind is cake-smashing. I’m not a fan of cake smashing and here’s why: It starts off “light”, and then it gets more “aggressive” and before you know it someone (and it’s usually the bride) gets pissed. Plus it ruins her make-up. It’s kinda like when we were kids “play-fighting”, and someone gets a little too into the rough-housing, and before you know it, a real fight breaks out. If you promise not to engage in that or any other pre-determined off-limits behavior, then don’t. No one likes when someone goes back on their word, and no one wants to be, or should be, caught off guard.
Be committed that you’ll calm each other down if something negative happens
If something upsetting happens on your wedding day to either you or your spouse, make sure the non-upset partner calms the other down. There’s no sense in both of you getting all riled up over the same thing. You’d be surprised how effective this method is. Something during the wedding day is bound to irritate one of you; just shrug it off and move on with the splendor of your day.
Promise to postpone and resolve any problems until after you return from your honeymoon
Don’t re-hash, drag out, or let any problems you had spill into your honeymoon. Your honeymoon is strictly for relaxing from the stress of planning your wedding. An up side to this is that you may even forget about any negatives that occurred because you’re on your honeymoon, which would be terrific! But please, no fighting during your honeymoon. Remember, you’ll have the rest of your lives together to fight! 🙂
And remember, one last thing…..
Now go get married in complete harmony!